Relationship Tension During The Christmas Holidays

Christmas time is supposed to be joyous but it can be difficult when things are stressed and you start fighting with your spouse. A relationship can suffer almost irreparable damage over the holidays due to money woes, in-law intrusion and trying to do too much at a time. Take a breath and slow down!

1. Are you blaming your spouse? It's easy to blame those closest to us when it's really not their fault.
2. Is your spouse blaming you?

Here are some potential coping strategies so you don't end up giving one another the silent treatment (or have a screaming match) on Christmas.

Take a time out and talk. Try to get away from the stress to do it if you can but if not, just take time when you're alone to put things into perspective. Even if you're not the one at fault it's sometimes better to be happy than to be right (as wise Dr. Phil McGraw would say).

If your spouse is making life difficult and you're just trying to get through all the craziness it might be worthwhile to sit down and without playing the blame game talk about how you need to pull together as a couple to get through a stressful time without being mean or hurting each other.

If you say WE instead of YOU it can have the best result. Don't foget it's your holidays too so you don't have to be a total people pleaser but sometimes making the peace can be worth it even if you have to put aside knowing you're right and the other person is in the wrong.

You don't have to put your own feelings aside forever if you're the scapegoat for stress. You can try to settle things down and have a happy holiday season and look at the problems more closely when things are less crazed. Later you can come up with an action plan to make the next holiday a little more stress-free.